Native American Legends
My balls for your dinner ?
A White River Sioux Legend
Iktome, the wicked Spider Man, and Skunk-Manitou, Coyote, are two
no-good loafers. They lie, they steal, they are greedy, they are
always after women. Maybe because they are so very much alike, they
are friends, except when they try to trick each other.
One day Iktome invited Coyote for dinner at his lodge. Iktome told
his wife: "Old woman, here are two fine, big buffalo livers
for my friend Coyote and myself. Fry them up nicely, the way I like
them. And get some timpsila, some wild turnips, on the side, and
afterwards serve us up some wojapi, some berry soup. Use choke-cherries
for that. Coyote always likes something sweet after his meal."
"Is that all?" asked Iktome's wife.
"I guess so; I can't think of anything else."
"There's no third liver for me ?" the wife inquired.
"You can have what's left after my friend Coyote and I have
eaten," said Iktome. "Well, I'll go out for a while; maybe
I can shoot a fine, plump duck too. Coyote always stuffs himself,
so one liver may not be enough for him. But watch this good friend
of mine; don't let him stick his hands under your robe. He likes
to do that. Well, I go now. Have everything ready for us; Coyote
never likes to wait."
Iktome left and his old woman got busy cooking. "I know who's
always stuffing himself," she thought. "I know whose hands
are always busy feeling under some girl's robe. I know who can't
wait - it's that no-good husband of mine."
The fried livers smelled do wonderful that the wife said to herself:
"Those greedy, stingy, overbearing men! I know them; they'll
feast on these fine livers, and a few turnips will be all they leave
for me. They have no consideration for a poor woman. Oh, that liver
here looks so good, smells so good; I know it tastes good. Maybe
I'll try a little piece, just a tiny one. They won't notice."
So the wife tasted a bit of the liver, and then another bit, and
then another, and in no time at all that liver was gone.
"I might as well eat the other one too, " the wife said
to herself, and she did.
"What will I do now?" she thought. "when Iktome
finds out, he'll surely beat me. But it was worth it!"
Just then Coyote arrived. He had dressed himself up in a fine beaded
outfit with fringed sleeves. "Where is my good friend Iktome?"
he asked. "What's he up to? Probably nothing good."
"How are you, friend?" said the woman, "My husband,
Iktome, is out taking care of some business. He'll be back soon.
Sit down; be comfortable."
"Out on business - you don't say!" remarked Coyote, quickly
sticking his hand under the woman's robe and between her legs.
"Iktome told me you'd try to do that. He told me not to let
"Oh, Iktome and I are such good friends," said Coyote,
"we share everything."
He joked, he chucked the woman under the chin, he tickled her under
the arms, and pretty soon he was all the way in her; way, way up
inside her. "It feels good," said the woman, "but
be quick about it. Iktome could be back any time now."
"You think he'd mind, seeing we are such good friends?"
"I'm sure he would. You'd better stop now."
"Well, all right, It smells very good here, but I see no meat
cooking, just some timpsila. Meat is what I like."
"And meat is what you'll get. One sees this is the first time
that you've come here for dinner; otherwise you'd know what you'll
get. We always serve a guest the same thing. Everybody likes it."
"Is it really good?"
"It 's more than good. It's lila washtay, very good."
Coyote smacked his lips, his mouth watering. "I can't wait.
What is it? Tell me!"
"Why, your itka, your susu, your eggs, your balls, your big
hairy balls! We always have the balls of our guests for dinner."
"Oh my! This must be a joke, a very bad joke."
"It's no joke at all. And I'd better cut them off right now
with my big skinning knife, because it's getting late. Iktome gets
mad when I don't have his food ready, he'll beat me. And there I
was, fooling around with you instead of doing my cooking. I'll do
it right now; drop your breechcloth. You won't feel a thing, I do
this so fast. I have practice."
The woman came after Coyote with the knife in her hand. "Wait
a bit, " said Coyote. "Before you do this, let me go out
and make some water. I'll be right back," and saying this,
he ran out of the lodge.
But he didn't come back. He ran and ran as fast as his feet would
Just then Iktome came back without any ducks; he had caught nothing.
He saw Coyote running away and asked, "Old Woman, what's the
matter with that crazy friend of mine? Why is he running off like
"Your good friend is very greedy. He doesn't have the sharing
spirit," his wife told Iktome. "Never invite him again.
He has no manners. He doesn't know how to behave. He saw those two
fine buffalo livers, which I cooked just as you like them, and didn't
want to share them with you. He grabbed both and made off with them.
Iktome rushed out of the lodge in a frenzy, running after Coyote
as fast as he could, shouting: "Coyote! Kola! Friend! Leave
me at least one! Leave one for me! For your old friend Iktome!"
Coyote didn't stop. He ran even faster than Iktome. Running, running,
he looked back over his shoulder and shouted: "Cousin, if you
catch me, you can have both of them!
- Told by one of the Left Handed Bull family in White River, Rosebud
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